First Blog Post Attempt

Well it is the first day of the second month of the year; As good a day as any to begin a blog. I created this account months ago. I enjoy my mother's blog and even blogs belonging to people I don't know that I have occasionally stumbled across while adventuring through the internet. I am fascinated by the feelings and ideas expressed. Conjectures of truth, absolutes and opinions related with earnest. No remorse or apologies. To me it seems a triumph of humility. To feel something, to believe it, to stand behind it and relate it to others. Not without thought or care but without fear.
The answer to a question is the weather in a day. So many tiny factors at play. But each one real and each one right. Perhaps.
I want to KNOW things. I want to hold on to a thought and write it down. Read it again. Believe it in a year. Or maybe not. Ha
I'm making couscous. I am bored. I was thinking of cleaning but I am okay with the mess right now. It's not that bad. I am not okay with the litter boxes though. I should clean those. I will in a little while.
Okay so I am asking myself: What is the standard of cleanliness that I should strive to maintain?

Response (from Self B): Well do you think your standard can not change from day to day? Could you be fine with "pretty-messy" today and then want things "super-neat" the next without having the "super-neat-self" judge "pretty-messy-self"?

Self A: Okay I see your point about judgment and about being forgiving of myself for sure. It is just that I want to challenge myself you know? I want to have standards. Maybe the best thing to do would be to establish a standard but to work on not beating "pretty-messy-self" up when she doesn't live up to "super-neat-self"'s standards.

Self B: Yeah, sounds good except for the "super-neat-self" standards. How about setting the "neat-self" as the standard instead? Middle ground seems more reasonable.

Self A: Absolutely!

Self B: How about litter boxes, dishes, trash, clothes, sweeping and making the bed. Essentials. As standard?

Self A: Okay so every day clean the litter boxes, do all the dishes, sweep all the floors, put all the clothes away and make the bed? That sounds pretty reasonable. System or tools?

Self B: No I don't think we should over think it. I suggest sticking to this year's mantra: Day by Day. Do it every day. That's all. For now anyway.

Self A: You are right. Let's just stick to it and let ideas for better efficiency come from the experience of doing right?

Self B: Yeah because if we try to brainstorm a bunch of "perfect" solutions we will only end up realizing the bottom line is that we have to just do it. No tool or system is going to make the task disappear. Might as well practice coming to terms with the task and incorporating it into everyday.

Self A: This sounds too easy. Ha.

Self B: What is there to lose by trying then?

Self A: That's true. But okay well that's solved and I guess I know what I need to do today before I go out but what then?

Self B: Do that stuff first and then we will talk. Day-by-Day can be Task-by-Task too remember? What are you so afraid of? Not feeling good? That is kind of the whole problem. It is why you don't feel good often. Instant gratification.

Self A: Yeah you are right. But I just worry that the day will be over and I will be bored and lonely and won't have exercised you know?

Self B: Cleaning is exercise. Revel in the "agony" of doing something not instantly gratifying. Stop worrying. It really disgusts me.

Self A: I sound like a child don't I? I sound like a child trying to find excuses for parents about why they should not be responsible. I know this yet still I have this fear in my chest. It feels like loneliness.

Self B: Begin the chores.

Self A: Right now? But I am writing! Isn't that important? Can I take a smoke break first? Should I put on some music? I can't think of anything I want to listen to.

Self B: Okay Five minutes. Then start the chores. This conversation is over. I have no more patience for you. Make me proud little one.

Self A: Okay. I would say "I'll try" but I think that would piss you off. :)